Thing's Lost Along the Way
by l0ve-in-300ks
Summary: Things lost long ago come back to haunt tomorrow. Things that were thought to be lost forever bring a poor boy sorrow. Jack Mercer has lost a lot in his lifetime, but now he has something he's always needed. Family. Will it be enough? Please read WARNINGS
1. It's all understood

Title: Things Lost Along the Way

Author: 3rokenS0ul

Summery: The story of Jack and the Mercers.. It starts when Jack meets the Mercers and continues on through and after the movie, though Jack does not die. Not here anyway.

Warnings: There will be many. This story deals with mature subjects such as abuse (physical and sexual), drugs, violence, mental disturbance and sex between to men in later chapters.

Authors note: I love Jack's character and have read MANY fantastic stories about him and the Mercers. So I was inspired by all the lovely writers and readers out there! I love this fandom; I only wish it were bigger. Well I have been wanting to write this for some time now. I had started it a long while ago, but never finished. It was rewritten a bit and extended so sorry if it seems familiar to anyone. This story will be rather long, but is a WIP. I have read books about abuse and will be using information and ideas from the following. . A Child Called IT, A Rock and a Hard Place, Murphy's Boy and Wayne. I will also follow the characters in the movie as best I can; I feel they were good as is. Well enough rambling, I really do hope you all enjoy. Thank you!

Chapter 1 - It's all understood

Three days

The walls were grey and the old bunk bed he laid on shook so much Jack thought it would collapse on him one night. Outside the foggy window the leaves were dancing in the wind, flying off the branches and spiraling downward. Similar to his life, a constant downward spiral. It was cold and clouds littered the sky making it look as grey and dull as the room he was in. This place wasn't as bad as some others, it was a nice family at least. They had a few kids, some were really theirs and some like him. He didn't know any of them well though, he pretty much kept to himself.

This place wasn't going to last much longer and he never had a problem with not getting too attatched. Jack had a weird feeling these people didn't even like him, he knew they had gotten stuck with him. Soon enough they would be rid of him. He had heard the conversation earlier and knew his presence was unwanted. "They could not handle him because he was just too far gone." Whatever the fuck that meant, Jack had heard it before this though so he wasn't all that surprised. He just wished he knew what he was doing wrong._ 'What's so bad about me?'_

Three days, to go then who knows what. He hated that, never knowing where he was going to end up next. He hoped it wouldn't be another bad place, he's had his fair share of those and he was damn tired of it. He was tired of everything. He was done with thinking, it only lead to ugly and scary places. So much to think about and get sad over, yet no matter how hard he tried to forget it his mind would never allow it. Millions of emotions rush around inside him all the time he thinks one day he's just going to burst. Jack imagines a big explosion with guts and blood everywhere. It was either bottle it all up or tell some therapist. That was just out of the question, no one would understand. .

As thrilling as staring out the window and dwelling on his miserable existence was, Jackie was a busy boy and he had places to be and people to meet. A quick trip to his temporary dealer, in his temporary town and his temporary life supplied him with just what he needed to get by for a bit. He felt like needed to get high to forget it all for a little while. It seemed to be the only way to escape.

Hours later, darkness surrounded the neighborhood and all the lights were out. Nothing was open in the suburban town at this time of night, so Jack just headed back to his area. His high was starting to wear off and all he wanted to do was sleep. He was a long way from the rickety bunk bed though and he couldn't make it to the place his friend was crashing. He laid down on a bench, his head pounded and a buzzing noise filled his ears. Every body part ached and he was coming down hard. His eyes slowly began to drift closed and soon after he was passed out cold.

Two days

Cold wet rain and a sharp pain running down his side is what Jack awoke to. It was pouring now and he was soaked to the bone in a matter of seconds. He gingerly patted his side and looked for any cuts or bruises but found nothing. He did see a big shard of wood sticking up from the bench though. '_Lovely_.' Jack stood up slowly and walked even slower down the street. Cars whizzed by as it got later, well earlier. Morning traffic was the worst and the rain wasn't helping any.

After being splashed, having to walk through road rivers and almost being ran over, Jack finally made it back. Too bad the foster family wasn't happy to see him, for once he was actually glad to be here. He had not expected to be yelled at and he really didn't see the slap coming. Not that it hurt, but the lady had never even raised her voice to him before and now here she was smacking him. Though people tended to hide their evils, it all came out in time though. It scared him, he didn't know if there was more to come. He just stood their shaking in his drenched clothed and waited for the worst to happen. People were unpredictable, that's one thing Jack learned the hard way. He learned a lot of things the hard way. After a pause she just told him to get dressed for bed.

"Y- yes ma'am. Sorry." He whispered as he ran off to the room he shared with his foster brother.

He quickly changed out of his sopping clothes and took a hot, but fast shower. Jack let his tears flow there, where they were quickly washed away and unseen. His back hurt and he felt like he was one step away from death. Jack needed more sleep, a lot more. He laid down and fell asleep the moment his head touched the pillow.

When Jack woke for the second time it was late afternoon. He hesitated for a while, afraid to leave his room. He was afraid they were still mad and he sure as hell didn't want to see them if they were. Now it was just a matter of waiting. Two more days to be precise.. He slowly crept down the stairs quietly, checking if anyone was home.

"Hello Jack."

Jack jumped nearly a foot in the air and whirled around, only to find Mrs. Harvey with an apologetic smile.

"Before you say anything let me just apologize for earlier, I lost my temper and I didn't mean to hit you. You just do such stupid things sometimes and I don't know what to do. I should not have done that though"

Shaking her head as she heard the anger slip back into her voice. She was losing her patience with this boy, he was just too much for her. She felt sorry for him though because it wasn't ALL his fault. He was out of control and her family was not prepared.

"Yes, ma'am. I know. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." Staring at the floor the words came out automatically in a whispered, monotone voice.

"Alright Jack, I hope there are no hard feelings between us. I want you to look back on this time and say you liked it here. I hope I didn't change your feelings about your stay here."

He just shook his head silently. _'Still a hundred times better than most of the shit holes I've been too.' _

There was an awkward hug afterwards and she felt odd holding his frail bony body against hers. The way he tightened up and shook with fear made her stomach turn. This is when she realized this was the first time she ever touched him with affection, or hugged him. She felt it would show she was being genuine, but all he saw was disgust. She moved away quickly and he wrapped his own arms around himself. He nodded with a tight lipped frown across his face. His eyes refused to meet hers and he took a few steps to distance himself. She just sighed and turned away, giving up once again.

Last day

Music flowed through his ears, the steady drum beat and blaring guitars soothed his mind. He listened to the lyrics and closed his red eyes. The smell of burning in scents and marijuana filling his nose were both pleasant and relaxing. This was bliss, no one to bother him. He felt free.

Jack passed the joint to his friend Tracy, she was a misfit and she lived on the streets and in bus stations. She was staying with some guy she met on one of her many bus rides, Fred was his name, he was crazy. She had lots of problems with her past and did lots of drugs to forget them all, just like Jack. They were a pair alright, they got along perfectly. Tracy was Jack's temporary best friend and the only thing he would miss about the damn place. He had been there three months and in that time he made the only real friend he ever had.

"Jackie, snap out of it I see dem' wheels workin' in that brain o' yours." She poked his temple.

"I'm just going to miss you Trace." He whispered sadly.

"I'll miss ya' too sweetie, but shit happens. You know that. I'm not stayin' here too much longer anyway, Fred ain't got nothing to keep a girl like me in one place. Who knows Jackie maybe we'll run into each other one day. Look for me anytime ya' ride the bus"

"Yeah right." Jack took the joint from Tracy with a short laugh and finished it off before tossing it into the ashtray.

"Come on like I said shit happens!"

Jack nodded and gave her small smile. _'Lot's of shit, never nothing good.'_

"Yeah it does. It sucks though Tracy."

She watched him for a moment then stood up and turned off the radio. "Hey let's get outta' here, Fred's goin' to be home soon."

They walked away from the house down a little path in some woods near by. They moved along for a while until they spotted a good enough log lying around and sat. Jack picked up a stick and poked the dried up leaves on the floor. They weren't as pretty as the colorful ones that still clung to the tree branches. Nothing was as pretty as his friend Tracy. Jack felt sad. He stared at the fiery colored leaves on the tree for a while and listened to the noises of nature. The orange leaves almost matched Tracy's hair.

'_I'm really going to miss her.'_

Suddenly Tracy leaned over and kissed him out of no where. She was very soft at first then started nibbling his lip gently. It wasn't the first time she had done something like this. They had had sex plenty of times. She was usually high out of her head though and one joint wasn't going to phase a girl like her. It was a surprise to Jack, but for once a nice one. She smiled at him.

"Your sweet Jack, you even taste sweet. You're a good kid, you deserve a lot better then what you got in life."

He couldn't say anything to that, so he didn't respond he just kissed her again. Hard and deep, making sure she would never forget it. Never forget him.

'_Please don't forget me Trace.' _

When they parted she stared into his sad blue eyes and smiled brightly and nodded to his silent question.

They made love that day, they didn't fuck. It was right there out in the open for the world to see. They had shared a moment that neither will ever forget or ever want to. Jack and Tracy laid there together afterwards for a long time just talking and smoking. Their bond was stronger, but soon to be broken by distance and separation. It was hard to say good bye, but he did what he had to. It wasn't the hardest thing he'd done, that's for sure. It was probably one of the most painful though, even if Jack would never admit it.

When Jack got back he was filthy, tired and upset. He ate dinner with the family answering questions mechanically when asked. He ran upstairs and showered after dinner and just laid in his bed for a long time. It was his last night in this place, his life was about to shift completely in a few days. He felt sick and afraid and way too old for his thirteen years.

Packing his bags was easy, this was something he was used to. He folded his meager items of clothing, the few things he had remained to hold onto through the years. It wasn't much, but it was all his. He stuffed two worn notebooks into the bag and the rest of his things after that. He was all done now all he had to do was try and get some sleep, he had to get up bright and early.

Today is a new day

Mr. Johnson was there at eight in the morning sharp, paperwork was passed and signed and then they all said there last good byes. It was fast and done. Now he was gone. Mr. Johnson asked him how things had been and he told him they had been fine. The rest of the car ride was mostly silent until they stopped at a diner.

"I don't know if you ate or not, but are you hungry?"

"Not really." Jake spoke softly. "Shit I don't know, I'm going to take a piss."

Mr. Johnson was used to the boys quiet moods and his foul mouth when he did speak.

"Ok, I'll get a table and meet you there."

Jack hurried off to the restroom and did his business but actually stopped in front of the mirror on the way out for once. Something he avoided doing for a long time. He looked at himself for a while, he noticed the dark circles and the pale skin stretched over a small thin body. He was a fucking mess, he looked sickly and it made him feel ill.

He found Johnson at a table near the back and sat down across from him. He sat there and tapped his fingers on the table and staring out the window avoiding conversation and eye contact. Mr. Johnson coughed and took a sip of water.

"Are you sure you don't want anything?"

"Yeah. . . Um, actually no. I guess" Jack mumbled.

"food. Yes, no?" He made a thumbs up and a thumb down for each one and smile at the boy.

Jack put his middle finger up and grinned.

"I just want orange juice and toast."

"No problem." Johnson laughed at his antics.

The waitress came over and took their orders and they resumed there casual chatter about nothing. Then Johnson started talking houses, homes, adoption and all the things he didn't want to hear about. It wouldn't happen, he'd always be in the system then on the streets or in jail. Hopefully though he would just end up dead. No one would ever want some one like him.

By the time the food got there he felt sick all over again, but he picked at it anyway. Bill paid, tip left and off they were. Johnson let Jack fiddle with the radio for the rest of the drive. He figured it was better than the kid just sitting there zoning out.

Once they got to 'the nest' as Jack called it time slowed down and everything got dull and miserable. Kids crying in the halls and people fighting, the secretaries were typing and dialing like robots. People were running in all different directions. Voices, so many voices. It reminded him of another time in this place.

_Jack was a mere seven years old and had just been brought in for the first time. His social worker Mr. Johnson was heartbroken and tried his hardest to comfort the distraught little boy as he pointed out the placed he'd been touched on the small doll. He had been abused sexually, tortured and malnourished. He could barely speak and couldn't read a word, but they kept asking him questions and trying to make him read cards. Test after test and at least four doctors and therapists and he was still just an abused, scared little boy. It was exhausting and he hated being touched so much. Johnson could tell by the way he cringed and flinched every time someone went near him. Even if they were not hurting him like his father, it still bothered him. _

_His body was covered in strange wounds and scars, some still fresh. His frail little arms wrapped tightly around a bony rib cage and his blue eyes were surrounded with blackened bruised skin. It was all written down in his file, so much written in his file. All the things he went through, all the visits to the hospital for countless injuries were written down in there. All of it on paper for the world to read. His weakness and shame, the dirty things he'd done and been forced to do advertised in black and white. _

It had gotten a lot thicker over the years, now he felt like he had been through it all at least once. He had been to more hospitals, doctors and psychologists than he could even remember. Whether self inflicted or forced upon him, he was a victim. A victim of life and it's harshness. He was sick of it and he wanted it to be over.

'_too bad your too pussy to kill yourself'_

Mr. Johnson came back and asked him to follow him. He was taken to a small room and was told to sit there and wait until they decided what to do with him. He was given water and a snack, but he didn't touch either. He drew little patterns on the table with his finger and drifted off into his mind instead. Singing softly to himself as he awaited his fate.

About an hour later he came back carrying Jack's folder and another, wearing a smile.

"Well there Jack I have some good news. There is hope for you yet, a lovely lady by the name of Evelyn Mercer has agreed to take you in for a while. She's very nice and has three other boys, one of them is from this facility I believe. I really think you will like this place."

"You always say that." Jack stated sadly.

"Well Jack. . Just try ok? She's really great, plus she's the only one who offered to take you on such short notice."

"How old are the kids?" Jack played with the strings on his sweater and gave him a cold look.

Johnson took out another file and opened it up. Reading and nodding every now and then.

"The oldest is Robert, or Bobby. He is twenty three. Jeremiah is eighteen and Angel is sixteen. They live in Detroit in a nice house. There is a decent school near by, you'd be going there eventually."

Jack didn't look excited, or even pleased.

"We are leaving in a few hours so I want you to go find a bed and make yourself comfortable. I have a lot of work to do, I'll come see you in a little bit."

Jack sighed, but got up and carried his bag into the sleeping quarters. They were crowded, but he found a free bed pretty easily. He took out his walkman and pressed play. Today was the day. Today he'd go away. Off to another place. Evelyn Mercer. He hoped she wasn't a bitch.

The snow crunched under the tires as the car pulled into the driveway. The wind was whipping loudly causing the automobile to shift under pressure. Jack sighed as Mr. Johnson shut the engine and turned to face the boy. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to meet these people. He especially did not want to stay with them, but Jack knew he never got what he wanted.

"Ok, Jack listen to me. This is important stuff."

Once he knew he had the boy's full attention he continued. "Evelyn is a great woman and she will take real good care of you. She has helped a lot of children find permanent homes and well maybe she can do the same for you."

Still no response from a silent Jack, though now he looked agitated. He was wringing his hands together and nibbling his lower lip. Johnson tried to comfort him a bit.

"She's a nice lady. Nothing bad will happen here and if it does, just call me. I told her about your case and she's had a lot of experience, so you don't have to explain yourself if you don't want. She's very understanding." Mr. Johnson felt bad for Jack, he'd been through a lot. The last couple of foster homes he'd been staying in weren't exactly the best environment for him either. He needed special attention and a little love. "This is going to be a good change for you."

"sure." Jack spoke quietly to himself as he fiddled with the strings on his hoodie. He wanted to believe the things the man said, but he was a fool. He thought he knew what people were capable of, but it was different to see it than to live it.

It was cold outside and Johnson was three steps ahead of him. _'Probably eager to get rid of me.' _Jack thought bitterly as they approached the front door.

"You know how this works Jack.. "

Jack nodded and looked down at his feet.

Mr. Johnson knocked on the door. Jack's heart picked up a beat and his palms began sweating badly. He shoved his shaking hands into his pockets as the door was pulled open. _'Don't let them see how scared you are, pussy.'_

"Well hello there, come inside. Come inside." A curly haired old woman with a kind smile stood to the side to let them pass. Mr. Johnson nodded and made his way into the warm sweet smelling house. Jack hesitated for a few seconds before slowly taking a few small steps passed the doorway. He felt sick to his stomach. He could hardly breathe and they were just standing there making idle chit chat. He wanted to bolt, run far, far away. He knew he couldn't, he'd never survive on his own. He'd tried and failed.

"Jack, come here."

Jack didn't move, but he was snapped out of his train of thought. He glanced up momentarily to meet Evelyn's eyes, but quickly averted them. Instead staring down at his worn sneakers.

"This is Evelyn. Evelyn, this is Jack. He's a good boy."

"Welcome Jack, I hope you like it here."

She looked the young man over with a sad smile. He was thin, far too thin for his height. He looked about young, but he was very tall. He peeked up at her and his eyes gave him away. She had never seen more expressive eyes than on this boy, they were bright blue and filled with such intensity. In that flash of a second she knew just how vulnerable and scared he was, ready to flee.

_**CRASH**_

Jack nearly leaped out of his skin and let out a soft whimper. His panicked eyes darted around the house searching for the source of the noise.

"what was that?" He whispered heatedly while clutching the doorknob.

Evelyn sighed, but the reassuring smile never left her face. "Oh just Bobby making a mess out back, he just finishing up your new room so he must be putting the tools away.. He will be in any minute He never misses his dinner. Mr. Johnson, would you care to join us?"

"Oh I'd love to, but I'm afraid I have a lot of paperwork to fill out and a few more cases to get to before it's too late. I'll give you a call tomorrow afternoon to check up on Jack and see how things are going. Take care."

He made his way over to Jack who still hadn't moved too far from the front door. Kneeling down he spoke quietly. "Remember Jack, Evelyn is a nice woman and nothing bad is going to happen to you here. It'd not like the other places. It will be ok and if you feel something is wrong just call me, for anything at all. I gave you and Evelyn my number, in case you lose it or anything. Good luck, and be good. I'll talk to you tomorrow." He gave Jack an awkward pat on the back, knowing the child wasn't fond of physical affection. Evelyn escorted him out and they settled some things while giving Jack a minute to look around a bit.

Jack was all alone. He was alone, scared and now he felt lost. _'This is it. Now it's only a matter of time before they start hurting me.'_

Lost in his own head, he didn't notice the newest occupant of the room. The man was pretty tall and he looked really strong. Jack was intimidated immediately. _'Oh God.'_

"Oh Jack this is Bobby, my oldest."

Jack was a little relived to have to old lady back, but he still didn't feel comfortable. Far from it, he was petrified. He kept his head down and his mouth shut, avoiding looking at the older man all together.

"Uh, hi." Bobby stared at the kid for a moment, wondering what the hell was wrong with him. He stood there twitching and staring at the floor. He felt bad for him, he used to hate switching from foster home to foster home. The first day was always tough.

"Want me to show you your room and stuff?"

Jack nodded figuring agreeing was the safest thing to do. He followed Bobby slowly and quietly into a decent sized bedroom. It was painted slate blue and sparsely furnished. Jack had hardly had his own bed, let alone his very own room.

"Here we go." Bobby gestured around the room. "This is it, mine is next door. Angel and Jerry share, they are down the hall next to mom. The bathroom is right across the hall, we can't use ma's."

"This is all mine?" Jack was stunned, he got his own room and it even had a window.

Bobby frowned at the question and nodded. "That's what I said."

"wow" Jack whispered and walked around, running his fingertips over the various things in the room.

Bobby couldn't help but watch, the boy was fascinating. He took small, soft steps and reached out with a hesitant hand. His eyes were big and filled with amazement. It was better than the fear he had seen shining in them earlier.

That's when Bobby understood what was off with this kid. All of the children ma got were pretty hopeless, but this one was different. Most of the cases she got were hard to handle, outspoken, violent and had a lot of problems socially. They all had history of abuse, but this kid he wasn't like the rest. He was very quiet. He was too quiet, too twitchy and timid. It was like he was afraid. Bobby understood then. There was something about this boy, something very different.. Bobby understood.

"How old are you?"

'_Oh shit was he talking to me? What did he say? Did he ask my age? Damn it why wasn't I listening. Now he's going to punish me. I'd deserve it. Oh God. Just tell him your age dumb ass, maybe that's what he asked. Hopefully. . ' _

Jack jumped and snapped his head toward Bobby, fear filled eyes stared as he stuttered out an answer. "uh, uh I am t- th. . . I'm Thirteen." His voice was so soft Bobby hardly hear what he said.

"You're young."

Jack just looked at him with those big blue eyes and Bobby sighed. Why did he ever let Evelyn convince him to come home? He knew she needed help, but this was too much. This kid was a head case and the way he acted unnerved Bobby a little. He didn't like the quiet and this kid was damn near silent.

"Uhh can I, I um. . Go to the b- bathroom?" Jack shuffled his feet and looked past Bobby as he asked.

"Um, yeah of course kid."

Jack nodded and walked toward the door and paused. "I'm not a kid." He said firm bust softly and hurried out of the room.

Bobby shook his head. He knew this one was going to be a challenge. He is sure Evelyn knew this kid was going to be a handful, that's why she had asked him to come back. She must have known he'd be way too much for her alone to handle by herself, but she could never refuse a needy child. Bobby knew he was needed. Both by his mother and Jack. He owed Evelyn a lot. He understood. It was all understood, except for Jack. He was a mystery to Bobby Mercer.

TBC

Ok so this chapter not much happened I know, sorry for that. I just kind of wanted to get Jack into the Mercer home before I got too distracted haha, please let me know what you think so far. Any suggestions, ideas or wishes? Please feel free to let me know!!


	2. Hands open

_Title: Things Lost Along the Way_

_Author: 3rokenS0ul_

_Summery: The story of Jack and the Mercers… It starts when Jack meets the Mercers and continues on through and after the movie, though Jack does not die. It's pretty much my take on Jack and his life, before and after the Mercers. _

_Warnings: There will be many. This story deals with mature subjects such as abuse (physical and sexual), drugs, violence, mental disturbance, course language and a relationship between two men in later chapters._

_Authors note: I want to__ thank you all so much for your kind reviews they are VERY much appreciated. To answer your questions, yes I will be including Jack's history throughout the story. I didn't want to give TOO much away in the very beginning. I really hope you're all enjoying the story and the next part will be up soon!! I've been writing nonstop and have tons of ideas. If you have any suggestions or ideas you'd like to share feel free to let me know. Thanks again for the comments, I love them all!! _

_I have read books about abuse and will be using information and ideas from the following. . A Child Called IT, A Rock and a Hard Place, Murphy's Boy and Wayne. I will also follow the characters in the movie as best I can; I feel they were good as is. Well enough rambling, I really do hope you all enjoy. Thank you!_

_Chapter 2 - Hands open_

Jack sat in the bathroom trying to collect himself enough to get up off the tiled floor and go back to his room. He hadn't even had to use the toilet; he was just desperate for some space and solitude. Jack took deep breaths and counted to a hundred before finally leaving the floor. He flushed the toilet just in case anyone was listening outside the door to make sure he was really going to the bathroom and not looting the medicine cabinets. He built up enough courage to open the door and was relived to find Bobby wasn't there waiting for him.

He crept silently into what he was told was 'his' room and inspected it more closely. He noticed a marble notebook and a pencil set atop the shelf above his bed. It had his name on it, so he assumed it was his. He snatched up the book and ran to the door to close it.

_'I hope I'm allowed to close it. They didn't say not to. Maybe I should leave it open'_

After a moments debate he decided to leave it and went to sit on the bed. There was a soft checkered blanket that smelled like spring flowers across the end of his bed. He laid it on his lap and opened the notebook. There were no words written inside, just blank pages. He wrote a few lines before he heard the faint sound of footsteps climbing the stairs. He hurried to hide the notebook under his pillow, he didn't want it to get taken away. The footsteps were heavy and surely didn't belong to the old lady. He flinched when he heard a knock on his door.

'_I shouldn't have shut it, shit.'_

He waited for the person on the other side to burst through and start screaming.

**Downstairs 20 minutes earlier**

Bobby leaned in the doorway of the kitchen and smiled at his mother as she moved around the kitchen. She seemed to know exactly what she was doing in here. Her hair was tightly curled today and she wore little makeup. She had a pretty pale blue blouse that matched her eyes. She looked like an angel, she was and angel. Bobby loved this woman so much.

"What's for dinner? It smells great." He asked.

"We are having chicken. Did you get Jack settled in his room?"

"Yeah, I showed him the room. He seemed to like it, but I'm not sure." After a slight pause Bobby continued. "He's a weird one Ma', doesn't talk much."

"No he doesn't, but that doesn't mean he's weird. He's just adjusting; you know how difficult it can be to move into a new home Bobby. He's been through more than most; he's not like my usual cases."

"What does that mean?" Bobby's interest was piqued.

"I'll explain later." She quickly changed the subject. "Angel will be home soon. Jerry is spending the weekend at Camille's.. . . I'll miss him, but I'm glad they are getting married; it's nice to see my boys happy. I am excited about the wedding." She looked at Bobby and touched his cheek. "You have all grown up into such good boys."

"Yeah we're real saints' ma'."

They were both laughing as Angel walked in the room like a whirlwind. His mouth was moving a mile a minute.

"Hey Bobby, Mom. What's so funny? Mmm, something smells good. What is for dinner? I'm starving. Oh, did the new kid get here, he's coming today right?"

"Hello to you too dear. Which question would you like me to answer fist?" Evelyn laughed.

"Huh? Oh yeah, Bobby are we playing today?"

Bobby shook his head at his younger brother. "Yeah, after dinner."

"Nice, so where is the new kid?"

"His names Jack and he's upstairs somewhere." Bobby replied.

"What's he like?"

"Quiet, twitchy, kinda' weird."

"Is he retarded or somethin'?"

"That's enough you two, that is no way to talk about him. He's not retarded; he just needs a little time to adjust and a big brother (or three). I expect you boys to be nice to him and look out for him like you do each other." She gave a pointed look to Bobby who just nodded.

"Sorry Ma'." They both replied.

She nodded. "Could you do me a favor Angel and set the table?"

Angel nodded and went to the cabinets to take out the good dishes. He bumped Bobby on his way to the dining room just to be annoying. Bobby was ready to retaliate when Evelyn spoke again.

"Dinner will be ready any minute. Bobby, could you please tell Jack we are going to be eating soon?"

"Yeah sure."

Bobby knocked on the bedroom door, but the kid didn't answer. This didn't really surprise him much. He called through the door a little impatiently.

"Hey Jack, dinner is ready. Come down when you're done in there."

"Ok" Was softly spoken through the door and that was good enough for Bobby.

Jack however was shocked, instead of having the door swung open and being screamed at for having it shut to begin with, he was just invited to dinner.

'_Maybe this place is different. . . Don't be stupid. You're so stupid Jack. It's no different; these people will hate you just like all the others. They will see your evil and then you will be punished.' _

Jack shook away his thoughts and went down and into the kitchen. He was hit with a pleasant scent. It smelled like heaven, spices and sweets danced in the air around his nose. It was warm and noisy, but not in a bad way. Evelyn was juggling pots and pans while the oven timer beeped loudly. Conversations from the other room could be heard, but not clearly.

Jack looked into the dining room and saw an unfamiliar face. A young black man was sitting there, talking to Bobby and glancing back at Jack. This unnerved him a little so he looked down at the floor avoiding eye contact. He didn't know what else to do.

"I am glad you decided to join us Jackie, I made chicken. I have other stuff though if you don't like that and we have cookies baking for dessert. "Her voice was soothing and he looked up at her to see if her face matched it. It did. That was strange.

"Angel why don't you come over here. You weren't here when Jack arrived." Stating the obvious, she smiled sweetly to the young boy. "Jack I'd like you to meet my youngest Angel."

"Hey, how's it goin'? You're going to have fun here and it will be nice not being the youngest"

Angel laughed at his own statement and held out his hand, but Jack didn't take it. He squirmed a little and whispered "Hello."

'_What does he mean by fun? What kind of fun?' _

After an awkward moment Evelyn led the boys to the dining room and set some food down on the table. She went to go get the main course leaving Jack standing in the doorway chewing his finger nail.

Angel knew what Bobby had meant now. It was kind of creepy the way he just stood there shifting from foot to foot not looking at anyone.

Bobby watched Jack stand anxiously for a moment before speaking.

"Why don't you just sit down?"

Jack snapped out of his daze and took the seat next to Angel, away from Bobby. Luckily it was also next to Evelyn's. He was glad about this, but he didn't know why. Dinner was pleasant, but quite uncomfortable for Jack. He had nothing to say and he didn't want to talk. So he listened to stories about school, hockey, work and someone called La Vita Loca, or something. They talked about Jerry, but Jack hadn't met him so he didn't know what to say when Evelyn told him they would get along great. How would she know? Jack found out she worked as a counselor and a part time nurse at the hospital and according to Angel had some crazy stories.

They all seamed to be happy, but Jack he was far from it. He didn't even know what it felt like to be happy anymore. Sure the food was amazing and the conversation wasn't too pressuring, but he just felt misplaced and he knew that he really didn't belong there. He didn't fit into their lives, he was a burden. They would see how evil and dirty he really was and get rid of him as fast as they could. Even if they did turn out to be nice, they would never want him. He gave it a month, three tops before they kicked his sorry ass out the door. Jack dreaded the other outcome. The one where they keep him even after discovering he was a no good piece of shit. That is when the punishments and beating would begin. He didn't think they would do anything more than beat him, but he'd been mistaken before. He physically shuddered at just the thought. He'd rather be in a group home if that was the case. He started to feel sick, but tried to eat anyway.

Bobby watched Jack as he picked at his food and pushed it around in his plate. He seemed to be lost somewhere in his thoughts and they didn't look pleasant. The kid looked so uncomfortable, sick even. Bobby wondered what he could possibly be thinking about, he seemed so sad. This for some very strange reason troubled Bobby, which pissed him off. He didn't like being upset; he didn't handle that emotion very well at all. He had to snap the kid out of it for his own selfish reasons and maybe for Jack's sake too.

"So Jack do you like your room?" Everyone went silent as Bobby asked. Jack's head snapped up and he nodded warily, he felt cornered.

"Good, I'm glad. I put in a shelf above the bed and fixed the door… It used to be my room a long time ago. I think I was about your age actually. I broke the door one night and it used to never close right after that." Bobby laughed.

"Yeah I remember that! You were in there with Sta-"

"Ehem." Evelyn cleared her throat to interrupt. "Angel that's enough of that story. It's not dinner conversation."

"Ah, mom you know it was funny."

Bobby just shook his head. "Good memories in that room." He looked toward Jack and noticed he looked even sadder than before. Damn it, this kid.

"So Jack do you like hockey?"

Jack didn't look at him, he just shrugged.

"We have a game after dinner, do you want to come?"

'_Why are you asking me so many questions, can't you just leave me alone?' _

Jack shrugged again.

"Can you skate?"

Jack seemed annoyed as he shook his head.

"I'll teach you, but you can just come and watch today. Do you want to?"

Jack chewed on his lip before shrugging.

"Come on kid, I know you can talk. I heard you. So why don't you just answer the question?"

Jack panicked and opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"Bobby, let it be." Evelyn spoke firmly.

Jack lowered his head and whispered and apology as he crossed his arms around himself.

Bobby got his temper in check after Evelyn's warning and sighed. This was going to take finesse and a little patience, Bobby didn't have much of either.

"No Jack I'm sorry. You don't have to say a word, but really if you want to come with us to the game let me know. You can write me a note or something, just like the girls do in grade school."

Angel snickered and Evelyn glared at his comment. Bobby just shrugged and got up to clear his plate. Jack just wanted to run and hide, he wasn't really used to conversing with people who wanted to know so much. People didn't care about what he wanted or had to say. Tracy had, but she was gone forever. Generally when he was asked questions it usually led to bad things. He hated when people asked him stuff.

'_Can't he just leave me alone, asshole?' _

"Uhmm Ms. Mercer? Can I go to, um. Can I-I go upstairs?" Damn stutter, thought Jack. He couldn't calm his nerves enough to speak clearly.

"Sure and please call me Evelyn sweetie."

Jack apologized and practically leapt from his seat and dashed up the stairs.

"Are you sure he's not retarded mom?"

"Yes Angel, I'm positive. Be nice or no seeing Sofi for a week. Jack is just a little overwhelmed."

"A little?" Bobby grumbled.

"Ok so maybe he's very emotional, but he'll come around." She hoped.

"We'll see Ma'." Bobby laughed and patted her shoulder. "Angel hurry up and get your shit together, time to go play some hockey! I'm going to grab my stick, meet me in the car."

As he passed by Jack's door he lingered for a moment when he heard a strange noise. It sounded like Jack was crying. He almost wanted to knock or go inside to see if he was ok, but ignored the urge. Bobby hurried to his room and changed quickly while trying not to pay attention to the peculiar twinge of pain deep inside his gut.

"You better be ready Angel!" He tossed Angel's stick to his unprepared brother who barely caught it.

"Jackass."

"Don't you break anything! That includes bones. You boys be careful out there and stay out of trouble. For once?"

"Don't worry Ma' we'll be fine and no trouble. We'll be home in a little while."

They rushed out into the cold and drove off, leaving Evelyn alone with Jack. Only he wasn't really there either, he was hidden away in his room. She knew he'd probably spend a lot of time in there. She only hoped her boys would bring him out of his shell and a little love goes a long way. If only it were enough to sure years of abuse.

She plated three cookies and poured some milk into a glass. She took out the serving tray she used long ago when her boys were sick. She carried them upstairs and knocked on the Jack's door.

"Sweetie, it's Evelyn. I left some cookies and milk outside your door if you'd like some. I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything."

Jack waited a moment and opened the door when he felt it was clear and pulled the tray inside. The cookies looked delicious and tasted better than anything he'd ever eaten in his entire life. After stuffing two in his mouth and enjoying the last as long as he could he guzzled down the milk.

He laid down and hummed to himself. He felt better than he had in a while, not quite happy, but he didn't feel upset either. So far this place wasn't bad, they seemed nice enough. At least they weren't mean or cruel, yet. He tried not to get his hopes too high though, or look on the bright side. He knew he's be left in the dark no matter what. It was the way it was, it was what he deserved. He was evil and he needed to be punished. He desperately tried not to think about his past, but it always seemed to happen anyway, despite his efforts. After looking over every event in his mind twice and tossing and turning in the bed Jack finally fell into a restless sleep.

_It was dark and cold. It was his fifth week at the Barren's house and he'd been sent down into the basement two days ago by an angry bitter woman. Jack can't remember the last time he ate and the pains in his stomach are unbearable. The scars from the last place he had been staying had finally begun to heal, only to have new ones made to replace them. Doris Barren was a loud woman with frizzed black hair and misshapen eyebrows. Her shrill voice was ear piercing and she had deep wrinkled covering her blotched face. Her teeth and fingers were yellowed from smoking too many cigarettes and she carried around a long wooden cane. Which scared Jack, because she'd hit him with it when he misbehaved. She knocked him unconscious one time and he still doesn't remember what he had done wrong. _

_The basement floor was damp and smelled like urine. He would be in trouble for that, but he had to relive himself somewhere. That was the reason for the mess he was in. He hadn't asked permission to leave the room and his smart mouth. He had only wanted to go to the restroom and he was angry this was a problem. He shouldn't have said anything, but he was stupid. He knew he was stupid. Mr. Barren told him every day just how worthless and stupid he was._

"_You retarded little bastard, why do you have to piss her off? You deserve what you get, because you're fucking stupid!" _

_Jack was curled up on the cold cement floor shivering and clutching his empty cramping stomach. He prayed for death to come, but it didn't. Only the devil, Mrs. Barren. She finally let him out later that day. He cried for food and was forced to eat week old scraps from the garbage and was told he didn't even deserve that. When he vomited he was beaten bloody with the cane and left on the kitchen floor crying and still hungry. He crept over to the can and searched for more food. He didn't find anything but a rotted pear core, brown banana peels and some red slime that smelled awful._

"_What do you think you doing?! I'll kill you, you worthless little bastard!" _

_He scrambled backwards on the floor and screamed. "I-I'm s-s-sorry!! No! Please, stop!"_

"_You evil little shit! No wonder no one wants you. Even your parents hated you. You're a piece of trash that no one wants! No one will ever love you because you're an evil, dirty little bastard!_

Jack woke with a startled gasp, covered in cold sweat and shaking like a leaf. The painful words from his dreams were ringing in his ears loudly. He could hardly breathe and cruel hateful words played over and over in his mind. They had hurt so much more than any thrashing had. His stomach turned and he nearly threw up his dinner. He beat the palms of his hands against the side of his head and cried silently to himself until the only thing he could hear was his heart thumping.

'_It was just a nightmare you pussy, get over it. Only nightmares aren't real and that actually happened. You're being stupid, just forget about it. Block it out. God I need to get high.' _

Jack tried unsuccessfully for two hours to fall back asleep, but the images from his dream were still fresh in his mind. Though sleep was the least of his problems at the moment, Jack had to pee and he was in complete disarray. He tried to ignore the feeling for nearly an hour, but no use. He didn't want to leave the safety of his room, that was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. Even the thought of leaving sent a wave of panic crashing through him. Eventually the feeling faded and he passed out from sheer exhaustion. Only this dream wasn't as pleasant as the last.

_The man loomed over him and spoke in a soft comforting voice._

"_I'm sorry I hit you baby, you know how I hate to hurt you. You're so precious, but sometimes you're just such a bad little boy and you know how I get mad when you're naughty."_

"_Sorry." Jack cried gently as tears flowed down his cheeks. The man wiped his face and stroked his hair. _

"_I know you are, but you have to make it up to me if you want me to be your Daddy still. You want a Daddy don't you? Do you want me to love you Jackie? I'll love you if you're a good boy." The mans hand began to travel down his arm and lower. _

Jack woke up screaming and flailing about, wrestling with his memory. He stopped and stayed completely still as he felt a warm wetness spread around his lower region. His body was twitching uncontrollably and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't catch his breath. He closed his eyes as tight as he could, trying to block out the images. They didn't fade and he gave up trying when he began to see white spots.

'_No, no anything but this. Please, why?' _

He wanted to vomit or cry, maybe both. Thirteen fucking years old and he's still wetting the bed like a baby. He was pathetic; he deserved the punishment that was surely coming. Though, at the thought of punishment he started crying harder and started pulling the blankets off the bed. His heart jumped in his throat when he heard a knock on the door. His stomach twisted as the doorknob did.

Of course it was Bobby, the last person on Earth that Jack wanted to see. He didn't want Bobby to witness his shame or to see his weakness' and he really didn't want Bobby to be the one to punish him. He braced himself for the first blow and covered his face with his hands and begged.

"I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry. P-please don't hurt me!" Jack was hysterical.

Bobby didn't know how to respond to that. He was not made to deal with situations such as this. The kid, Jack was crying his heart out in front of him and he had no other reaction besides shock. He had heard him screaming from his room and decided to check on him and make sure he was ok. This is not what he had expected. A teenage boy in tears who had wet the bad was actually the LAST thing he'd expected. The kid looked mortified, horrified and angry. Probably with himself, but maybe not. Bobby had to say something, do something, anything to calm Jack down.

He took a step closer, but Jack backed up against the wall. "Hey, hey it's ok. I'm not going to hurt you. I'll just go get Ma', don't worry." He spoke as if he were talking to a wild animal that he had cornered. This was just way too much for him, so he rushed downstairs. It was nearly morning and Evelyn was an early riser. As Bobby suspected she was awake and filling out paperwork on a new case she had at work.

"Ma'?"

"Yes Bobby? My you are up early, is there something wrong?" She noticed the look on his face and stood instantly.

"It's nothing too bad, Jack is having a fit and I don't know how to deal with it. He's too scared of me, so I think you might want to handle this one."

"Oh my." Evelyn rushed to Jack's room and nearly cried when she was saw the state he was in. The boy had had an accident and seemed to be very distraught, crying and shaking badly. She approached him slowly and spoke very softly with a gentle voice.

"Jackie honey, please don't cry. It's alright, accidents happen and they are only sheets. They will be good as new after a wash and I have others you can use in the meantime. Please calm down, it's really alright."

Jack was shocked. She wasn't mad?

"I-I'm not going to be p-punished?"

"No sweetie, of course not. You did nothing wrong." Jack just stared at her disbelieving. She held her hands open.

"Jackie. I know bad things happened to you before you came to me." She spoke firmly when he looked down letting bad memories sweep him away. "Hey, look at me." Jack's eyes were wide and full of fear, but her voice was soothing. "You're safe now." He couldn't look away now if he tried. She moved timidly as to not scare him and kissed his forehead before picking up the blankets. "Why don't you go get washed up and I'll bring you up some breakfast in a little bit? Jack nodded.

Evelyn smiled and said "Everything will be alright Jackie" before she left the room. Jack really wanted to believe her; he desperately wanted to be able to trust this woman. She seemed so sweet and like she may actually care about him.

'_Your wrong, she doesn't care about you and she never will. She just pities you because you're a pathetic little baby. After this you'll be out in a week, you fucked up'_

He wanted everything to be alright, but he didn't know if he could count on Evelyn's word alone so he pushed the feelings of longing away and wiped his face. He didn't need anyone else seeing him like this, he still had to live with himself and that was hard enough to do as it was.

While in the shower he tried to block out the entire incident, he was so embarrassed and livid with himself. Damn it. What would Bobby think of him now and why were Evelyn's words getting to him so much? It wasn't like he hadn't heard them all before, more than once. It was just the way she said them that made him feel strange inside. Maybe she was telling him the truth? Why did he even care what Bobby thought?

TBC.. .

Ok so yeah, I went there. Let me know what you think, please. I love when people judge what I do, it thrills me and I get motivation to please you all with more writing. If you like it that is. . . I like reviews, please leave them and thank you for all those who have done so. I hope you enjoyed, the next will be up shortly.


	3. Situations

Title: Things Lost Along the Way

Author: 3rokenS0ul/3reakd0wn

Summery: The story of Jack and the Mercers.. It starts when Jack meets the Mercers and continues on through and after the movie, though Jack does not die. Not here anyway.

**Warnings: **There will be many. This story deals with mature subjects such as abuse (physical and sexual), drugs, violence, mental disturbance and sex between to men in later chapters. Just some helpful hints in case anyone was confused by the way I wrote: "_Anything in this typing means thoughts" _"This is regular speech." _Flash backs are in italics _**Scene changes or time passing in bold**

Authors note: I am touched by the wonderful and very kind reviews I have received. I appreciate every one of them, you are all so nice. I am so glad you like the story so much, I really loved the movie. I hope to do it justice. I really am grateful for all the feedback, I've been writing nonstop so the next chapter should be up shortly. Thank you again and enjoy! :)

Chapter 3 - Situations

Five days passed without any incident, though Jack spent most of his time hidden away in his bedroom. When he did grace the Mercer's with his presence he was silent. Unless it was a pathetic 'sorry' or 'thank you' he said nothing else. He constantly seemed uncomfortable around them and was always on edge, ever since the first night.

At first Bobby assumed the kid was just embarrassed and maybe still adjusting, but by the end of the week it had gotten to be too much for him to handle. His nerves were shot and he was ready to snap, thankfully Evelyn reminded him to be patient with Jack. She didn't seem to mind his silence, not even a little bit. She always seemed to know exactly what the boy needed without him having to ask. He'd just hover around her and she'd feed him, talk to him or just sit silently until he was content.

Today was different though, Bobby would be left in charge of the house and Jack. Evelyn had to go back to work, she'd missed a few days and a lot had happened while she was gone. She'd explained to Jack that he was to listen to Bobby and what not.

It started out innocently enough, but in the end, well. It didn't end the way any of them suspected it would. Bobby was on the couch mindlessly flipping through the channels, knowing he wouldn't find anything. There was never anything good on during the day and unlike Ma and Jerry he couldn't stand talk shows.

Angel had just left in a hurry yelling something about driving him. Bobby knew he would probably miss the, but maybe he'd wake up next time when Bobby told him too. He had refused to drive him and had actually stuck to it, but Angel still didn't learn from his mistakes. Bobby peered out the curtain to check if he made it.

He hadn't heard anyone come downstairs, but he couldn't ignore the loud smash coming from the kitchen. "What the fuck." Bobby got up slowly and went to see what the hell was going on.

Jack was on his knees shifting shards of yellow glass into a small pile with his bare hands. Which were now cut and bleeding all over the floor. What the fuck is wrong with this kid? Bobby couldn't help thinking and before he got control of himself he shouted.

"What the hell are you doing!? Are you crazy? Your bleeding. Get up." He moved to lift him, but that didn't go too well at all.

Jack whimpered and pushed himself flailing backward into an unsteady sitting position on the glass covered floor. He raised his bleeding hands to cover his face and began mumbling something. Bobby quickly realized he was apologizing profusely.

"Hey, hey come one. Calm down. Relax man, I'm not mad. Just get away from there, I don't want you getting hurt." Bobby didn't know what else to really say.

Jack didn't make a move, but he did uncover his face and stare at the mess he'd made on the brown and tan checkered tiles. Bobby grabbed the broom from it's discrete hiding spot and moved to clean it up and noticed Jack flinch as he did so.

"Please, I- I'm sorry." He begged quietly and shielded his head again.

"Jack, stop. I'm not going to hit you with the fucking thing. It's ok, just stand up before you cut yourself worse." The kid didn't react to his words and it was starting to freak him out. Bobby didn't know what to do, so he cleaned the mess as best he could. Jack watched huddled in a ball on the floor. His skinny arms wrapped tightly around his drawn up knees. Quivering as he rocked back and forth humming to himself.

"See Jack, all gone. Now come over here."

He obeyed and hurried to stand a few feet in front of bobby with his head bowed. Bobby knew he was expecting to be hit, he could tell by the way he was standing. Instead he took Jacks hands, which probably stung pretty bad. The boy hissed and tried to yank his wrists free, but Bobby was much stronger than him. He noticed Jacks face was covered in blood too before he looked down at the floor again.

"Please."

"Please what, just relax a minute. Let me get you cleaned up. See if you have any glass stuck in your hands. Now stop fighting me would you, just stay still."

Jack stood and watched Bobby inspect his hands carefully before rinsing them in the sink and looking again. It was only a few small cuts on his fingers, but they hurt pretty bad. The water was soothing and then it was gone. A warm wet rag slid across his face and Bobby pushed his hair back as he wiped the blood off.

"There you go, not so bad. Just a few cuts, they should be better in a few days. Ma is going to freak out though, put ointments and band-aids all over them."

"I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean to. It was an accident."

"Your not in any trouble, so stop saying your sorry. It's not a big deal, so relax would you? Damn it kid, what is the matter with you?"

Jack averted his watery eyes and shrugged. Looking absolutely miserable and Bobby felt that awful pain in his stomach again. This kid was turning him soft, he hated seeing him troubled.

"Look just calm down, take a deep breath. You want something to eat? I'm sure your hungry, why else would you be in here breaking dishes." Jack didn't laugh at the joke, but he did to lighten the mood. "Come on, I'll make you breakfast."

Jack seemed to ignore every word. "Will Evelyn be mad?"

"About a plate? No."

"Can you not tell her?"

"She's going to know something happened when she sees your hands." To his utter surprise Jack's eyes welled up and he curled his fists tightly.

"No, no. Don't tell her Bobby, please."

He was a little caught off guard, not only by the desperate plea, but the sound of his name coming from Jack. It made him feel strange, very strange. He just wanted to appease him and do anything to upset him any further.

"Ok, ok. We won't tell her. It's not a big deal though if she did find out, she wouldn't be mad Jack."

"Please Bobby, please don't tell her!" Jack was crying nearly hysterically now and Bobby despised every second. He didn't understand what all the fuss was about. The sound of it sickened Bobby's gut though and the sight of him in so much pain made him wan to reach out and hug him. Very, very strange.

"Alright, alright. I'll make a deal with you. Jack. Come on. Shhh."

Jack quieted and wiped his face. He didn't like the sound of that. Deals never seemed to turn out in his favor, but he nodded anyway. He didn't want Evelyn to know what he did, that was the last thing he wanted. He didn't want her to see how bad he was. He just hoped the deal wasn't some sort of punishment.

"Hey kid, you paying attention." Bobby halted when he noticed the faraway look in Jack's eyes.

"sorry."

"The deal is." Bobby began again. "If you manage to not let Ma see the cuts on your hands tonight when she gets home from work I'll take you to the game and we'll tell her you fell on the ice. You have to come with us though otherwise it won't work. If she sees your hands before we get to go we will have to tell her the truth."

Jack nodded, it actually sounded like it could work. Sure there was a downside, he's have to go to the game. Not too bad, plus Evelyn would never know about today and that is all that mattered to Jack.

"ok, deal"

By the time Evelyn arrived home, all the boys were there already. She walked into the noisy, warm house and smiled cheerfully after a long day of hard work. All her boys even Jack were in the living room, making a mess probably. She was just glad to see Jack with them, As she suspected he got along very well with Jerry. He was showing Jack some of her old albums and reading the sleeves to him happily. Jerry was very kind hearted and had a lot more patience than her other boys. Angel was picking a fight with Bobby who was seated next to Jack watching T.V. He got up and smacked Angel on the back of the head as he passed. "Loser."

"Hello boys."

They each said there hello's, but Jack just continued looking at the records.

"Need help Ma?" Bobby grabbed one of the bags from her and took it into the kitchen before she could answer. He was such a fine man.

"Thank you Bobby."

"No worries, how was work?"

"It was alright, I'm a little backed up on paperwork. It's ok though." She lowered her voice. "How was Jack? Did you two manage while I was away?" She smiled knowing things went fairly nicely.

"All is well, he's even coming to the game after dinner."

"That's great."

She was pleasantly surprised, he had refused other offers and spent most of his time up in his room. Which worried her a bit, he needed fresh air. He didn't get enough when he snuck out for cigarettes. She would have to address that soon, he was far too young to be smoking.

"I don't know how you did it, but I'm glad." She kissed his cheek and began to prepare a delicious meal for her family. This was a good day, she had been very worried about leaving Jack, but it had turned out well enough.

It was freezing out and Jack hated the snow. Angel played awful music during the ride and Jack was thrilled when Bobby finally shut the radio off. He was shivering so badly his teeth were chattering loudly as they pulled up to the rinks.

"Can't I wait in the car?"

"No we had a deal. Now lets move it ladies, we got a game to win."

Jack followed them sullenly, but didn't go near the ice. He stood off to the side alone and shivering.

"Hey Angel you better not fuck up today. I'll kick your ass if you do."

"Screw you Bobby, we can't all be savages like you." He threw the puck toward him and Jerry laughed.

"I don't know what your laughing at Jerry, you never scored a point before last month." They passed it back and forth, warming up and talking shit. A few other older looking kids soon joined them for warm-ups.

They all seemed to be having a good time and Jack was just kind of there, cold and lonely. Even with all these people around, he was the only one who was alone. Once they began playing though, he actually felt himself get a little excited. He even cheered a little when Bobby scored. He glanced around the white snowy hills and took in the area.

The air was frigid and there were a lot of different people skating. Some were playing hockey, but there was a section of ice reserved for regular ice skating. Couples and children were laughing as they flew by. There brightly colored coats and scarves just a blur as they passed. The sound of the frozen ice slicing under there skates made Jack want to try it. He heard Bobby yell out as Jerry did something and they scored again, thanks to a last minute steal or something.

Jack got a little worried when Bobby bloodied another guys lip, but they guy didn't seem mad about it. He even hugged Angel and Bobby when the game was over. It seemed to be acceptable.

"Alright who's got next you pussies? Try and take the record, come on Manny you know you want to lose again bitch." He shouted to a large bald man who was with a woman and a bunch of young guys. Who looked just as scary as him. He had a shaved head and a nasty scar running from his eye to the back of his head. The red jersey he wore was the color of blood. He was huge and Bobby, still taunted him.

"Nah you crazy asshole, man I ain't fucking playing with you. My shit's still sore from last time."

"That's what your mom said after last night. She still wanted more though."

"ooh, yeah, shit." A chorus of reactions filled the air. Everyone was laughing though.

The guy, Manny laughed too "Alright, since your taking it there. Lets go, hope your ready to get your asses kicked."

Bobby walked over to Jack and handed him something. "Hang onto this for me. Don't lose it fairy."

Jack wasn't too fond of the nickname, but nodded. He put on the leather jacket that had been given to him. Much warmer now he actually was able to enjoy the game. They were ecstatic and having a pleasurable time and Jack felt something he hadn't felt for an exceptionally long time. After the rush of exhilaration was gone after another point scored, he was content. Happy even. Pleased they had won and happy that he had actually enjoyed something for once.

"So did you like it?" Bobby inquired .

"Yeah it was cool, it looks like fun. I want to try it, but I don't know how to skate. Can you show me how?"

Angel and Jerry exchanged a knowing glance and began to chuckle.

'_Maybe I shouldn't have asked, but he had offered before'_

"You don't have to, I can just watch. If you don't want to"

"No Jack, I'll show you. It will be fun, I'm glad you liked it so much."

"Like he has a choice." Muttered Jerry to Angel.

"You'll probably turn out better than these two pansies here." He elbowed Jerry, who in return punched his shoulder."

"Angel, in the back. Jack's got shotgun."

Jack was delighted. Not only was Bobby almost eager to teach him, but he also said he could sit up front on the way home and that meant he selected the station. It was a big deal in Bobby's car.

"What the hell Bobby?" Angel whined.

"I warned you about fucking with the radio, now you ride bitch."

Jack had felt special, now he felt singled out. Angel would surely hate him after this, though he didn't know what he did. He bumped Jack a little as he passed and Bobby glared at him. Jack was about to say something, but quickly got in the car when Bobby spoke.

" Get in Jack"

The ride home wasn't very pleasant. Even if they had been victorious and Jack had gotten to choose the station he liked, there was a tension permeating the air. Making the ride silent and uncomfortable for all parties involved. Jack gazed out at the old red brick buildings that lined the wet icy streets. Boarded up windows and cracks along the sides, they were aged and dirty. The snow that covered the roof tops was even dingy and tainted looking. The grey cloudy sky loomed overhead, threatening to snow again at any moment. Jack hummed quietly along with the song on the radio as they drove along.

"That was a good game Bobby, that save I did was awesome huh?" Jerry said from the back trying to break the uneasy stillness.

"Too bad I had to get it back after Angel gave it up to Manny." Bobby glared at Angel in the rearview and Angel hit the back of his seat.

"Fuck you Bobby. He body slammed me, what do you expect me to do?"

"Hang onto it and don't touch my chair. That would be nice."

"Don't fucking start with me Bobby. We didn't lose, did we?"

"Yeah with no help from you."

"You don't even know what your talking about. I don't need this shit Bobby. I have better things to do with my time!" He knocked the seat again to get his point across.

"Do it again and I'll pull this car over and beat the shit out of you. I'm sick of your damn attitude all the time Angel. It's getting resl old."

"Go ahead, pull over. Let me the fuck out. I see how it is, now that Cracker Jack is here, you just don't give a shit about anybody else. Well fuck you and your little cheerleader." He pushed the back of Jacks seat. "He's even wearing your jacket, little fag."

"Stop, stop!" Jerry called out and grabbed Angel's wrist. "Knock it off Ang, Jack didn't do anything to you. Stop fighting."

"No Jerry, if that cocky shit wants to pick a fight with me. I'll teach him a lesson." Bobby taunted.

"Come on Bobby man, just lighten up. No one is fighting. Damn. Let's just get home."

"Don't tell me what to do Jerry."

Jack wanted to cry, he was so tempted to curl up and cover his ears. He didn't want them to lash out at him. He was anxious and afraid to even move. He despised yelling and fighting, it made him jittery and his stomach sick. He was often on the receiving end of misguided rage and he didn't want it to happen again, not now. It had almost been a good day, so close. He should have never allowed himself to feel that way. He was vulnerable and his happy moment was ripped away. Taken by Angel, why did he have to be so mean. He didn't even do anything, he was just being stupid. They were all being stupid!

"_Assholes."_

"Come on Bobby, lets go. Pull the car over. Go ahead!"

"Shut up!"

Everyone went completely silent and just looked at Jack. He hadn't meant to yell like that, it just slipped out. Angel had made him mad. They were all yelling and hurting his head, he just wanted it to stop. He was frightened now, because the focus had turned to him.

"_Oh shit. Maybe I'm not allowed to yell. Maybe only they can because they are brothers or something. I'm probably not supposed to. Fuck, now I've really done it."_

He hoped someone would do or say something, anything at all. The car ride home remained quiet, with only the radio playing rock music softly. Once inside Angel was right out the door again, going to some girls house. Jerry went to take a shower and Bobby went to talk to Evelyn in the living room. Jack was about to sneak up the stairs when he heard his name called.

Evelyn was sitting in the chair next to the couch, so he sat next to Bobby and waited for her to speak. He looked at the maroon wallpaper, with the little blue birds on it. Trying to distracting himself from the perturbed feeling he had. He hoped he wasn't in trouble, he prayed Bobby hadn't told her about the plate after all.

"Honey, I just wanted to have a word with you." She smiled at him. "Tomorrow you have an appointment, with Dr. Richardson. He'll be expecting us around three, so please be ready when I get home. Bobby is going to take you shopping for some clothes and things you need. I registered you in the school, so you'll have to get some books and a pair of gym shoes. You'll be starting not this Monday, but the next. I gave Bobby a list of what you'll need and you can pick an extra surprise for yourself." She paused for a moment. "Bobby will you excuse us for a moment please. I want to talk to Jack alone for a minute." Bobby nodded and left the room. Now Jack was really starting to worry.

"_Is she going to make me leave? Am I in trouble?"_

"What did I do?"

"Nothing Jackie, your not in any trouble. I just wanted to discuss something with you. This may seem very sudden, but I have been thinking about it since the day you arrived here. I thought maybe we could talk about this becoming your permanent home. About adoption"

The boy looked confused and her heart broke for him.

"I'll give you all the time you need to think it over, but I'd love it if you decided to stay. We all would, we really enjoy having you here."

Jack was reeling, was she talking about adoption? Stay for good? Forever? Appointment? Was she crazy? All these people must be nuts, they didn't know anything about him. He was evil, rotten and a good for nothing whore. That was it. She didn't know that yet, she would find out eventually. Then she would change her mind about keeping him, they all would.

"_Not too long now, soon they will all know your secrets Jack. Dirty, filthy secrets." _

"Well you think it over sweetie, take as long as you need. I do hope you decide to stay, but no pressure. Ok." She touched his arm tenderly. "I'm off to bed, I have an early day tomorrow. Don't forget about your appointment. I'll see you in the afternoon, good night." She kissed his forehead and walked off into the kitchen to wish Bobby a good night. He entered the living room and sat next to Jack, who was still in shock and turned on the T.V.

"I get the shower next, you can go in after me if you want." Bobby said..

No response and after a few moments of squirming, Jack spoke in a rush.

"Did you tell her?"

"Huh? What are you on about?"

"Did you tell Evelyn?" He grabbed Bobby's arm urgently.

"About what?"

"The dish?"

Bobby laughed at him. This pissed Jack off, so he shook Bobby's appendage.

"Well, did you?"

"You make it sound like such a big deal, and no I didn't say anything to her. Why?"

"Oh, no reason." He finally let go and Bobby sighed.

"Your weird you know that kid?"

"I'm not a kid, I'm thirteen."

"Big man." Bobby snickered and got up. "I'm taking a shower, I stink."

"I know, it's pretty bad." Jack smiled. Bobby tapped him lightly on the back of the head as he passed and to his surprise the kid didn't flinch. This made Bobby very proud, maybe there was hope for the kid yet.

When he returned, Jerry was in the living room with Jack and they had the records sprawled across the floor. Jack had three in his lap and was inspecting the covers carefully.

"The volume is broken, so we can't play them now because it's pretty loud. I don't want to wake no one, it's late. I'll show you how to use it tomorrow though. Mom, doesn't mind us playing them."

"They are all Evelyn's?" Jack asked Jerry.

"Yeah, she's been collecting them for years. She even has a few that have never been played, original versions worth thousands. She'll show you if you ask. They are pretty cool."

"She has a lot."

"There are more in her closet, some weird stuff too."

"What are you two girls chatting about." Bobby interrupted as he plopped ungracefully onto the couch, jostling Jack a bit. "Shove over fairy, your hogging the couch."

"I'm not a fairy Bobby." He sounded offended, but Bobby just laughed. Jerry finished cleaning up and stood.

"Well gentlemen, I'll leave you to it. I have to get up early and take Camille to the church."

"What time?" Bobby implored.

"Seven on the bright."

"Ouch, why so early?"

"You know Camille, the sooner the better. She's just excited."

"Good luck."

"Thanks, I'll need it. Good night Jack. Pick a few records you want to hear and I'll show you how to work the player when I get home. Night Bobby."

"Night." Jack nodded to him with a grin and said a quiet "goodnight."

After Jerry left the room he turned to Bobby. "Is Camille nice?"

"Yeah, she's a sweetie. Got a good head on her shoulders and not bad looking. She's good for Jerry, why do you care?"

"I don't know. Jerry is a nice guy, he deserves to be with a nice girl."

Bobby smiled, that was kind of sweet. This kid was such a mystery. He was really beginning to grow on Bobby.

"I um, I put your coat on your bed. I didn't know if I was allowed in your room, but I was only in there for a second and the door was open. I didn't touch anything, I'm sorry if I wasn't supposed to."

"Your allowed in my room Jack, just don't be going through my things or taking stuff without asking. That's all." Jack nodded.

"You can go in my room too."

"Oh yeah?" Bobby smirked a little.

"Yes, it was yours first right?" Jack picked at a bright orange thread, that had come loose.

"Yeah, I guess it was. It's yours now though."

"Did Evelyn really mean it when she said I could stay for good?"

This was an awful turn, a shock for Bobby. The wretchedness of the kids hesitant voice and the over expressive eyes, that were easy to read if you just looked. Bobby was looking, very intently and he wanted to reassure him. Comfort him, touch him some how. Instead of a hug, he stroked the boys soft messy hair gently.

"She doesn't say things she doesn't mean Jackie, she's not a liar."

"I don't know." Jack leaned into Bobby's hand, so large. So sturdy and intimidating, but yet not.

"What don't you know?"

"Anything. I'm tired."

"Then get some sleep, I'll wake you in the morning."

"I don't want to. Can't we just watch T.V. for a while?"

"Sure."

Bobby awoke the next morning to the sound of birds chirping loudly outside. A flash of bright orange fabric and a hand smacking his face clumsily. He had a horrendous pain in his neck from falling asleep in a strange position. Jack was half sprawled out on top of him and mumbling in his sleep. They had apparently passed out on the couch at some point.

"Wake up Jack, I need to move."

He mumbled something else incoherently and opened his bleary blue eyes and stared at Bobby.

"Oh, oh. Sorry."

"It's ok, just get up. I gotta' take a leak."

Jack pulled out a few records while Bobby was upstairs. He changed his mind a few times and almost dropped them all when he heard a voice. It was Angel.

"Hey man, I'm real sorry about being such a shit yesterday. Bobby was being an asshole and I took it out on you. My bad. No hard feelings? We cool?"

Jack nodded and shook Angels outstretched hand. "Yeah ok."

"Alright good. Well I better get going, I don't want to miss my bus and have to walk again. It's too damn cold."

"_That was unexpected, I though he hated me. Guess not. Maybe it's a trick though, better be careful." _

"You hungry Jackie?"

"Yeah." He trailed Bobby into the kitchen. "What do you want?" Bobby asked while leaning over to look into the fridge.

Jack shrugged.

"Huh?"

"I don't know."

"How about pancakes?"

"Ok."

"Pancakes it is. Want to help me. I hate cooking and this will get done a lot faster and probably better if we have two people making them."

"You don't have to make me any if you don't want to."

"Well that's mighty nice of you, but I'm still starving and you probably are too. I am going to make them, so you might as well eat them." Bobby chuckled. "You helping or not?"

"Ok, what do I do?"

Bobby and Jack made about twenty five pancakes, way more than they could eat. Some were black and charred and others raw batter in the center. By the time they got to twenty they seemed to get the hang of it and managed to create the best pancakes ever. Well in Jack's opinion anyway.

Bobby was just glad the kid was in a decent mood. Jack tended to be emotional, letting his feelings get the better of him. During breakfast Bobby even witnessed Jack smile a few times. It was a rare and beautiful sight, he wanted it to happen again and again. So he continued trying to joke around with him and for the most part it worked. Jack was a pretty fun kid and smart for his age. A little too smart.

He let Jack wear his coat again, the kid seemed to be fond of it. Plus it was cold as a bitch and he had a better one anyway. Plus it looked good on Jack, made him appear more like a Mercer.

Shopping was a little stressful for the both of them. Jack clung to Bobby, feeling like all eyes were on him. Judging him and picking his every move apart. It had been a incredibly long time since he had step foot into a clothing store. He'd been to a few markets to lift candy, but never such a enormous place with a myriad of people.

He kept as close as he could to Bobby, even reaching for his sleeve when it was just too much for him to handle. When people got too close, too loud or looked for too long. He felt oddly safe within Bobby's presence. He wasn't a huge guy, but he knew Bobby was dangerous. Almost certainly the strongest person Jack had ever met.

Bobby didn't mind the grabbing or closeness at first, but when he realized Jack was only growing more fearful he began to get irritated. Not really at the people, because they weren't doing anything. He did want to hit them though for making Jack look like that. He actually got aggravated with Jack for looking so afraid.

He was going to have to man up, Bobby knew he wouldn't always be around. Especially once the kid got into school, he can't stroll around the halls appearing petrified everywhere he went. He'd be eaten alive in seconds, he wasn't exactly the toughest looking kid his age. Scrawny, tall, quiet kid with long hair and he can't forget those pretty blue eyes. Yeah right, and Bobby was way too old to be fighting high school kids. This wasn't going to work.

"Jack let go of me, you need to settle down."

"I'm sorry."

Jack did let go, but was still on Bobby's heels. "I'm not trying to be mean so stop trying to make me feel bad."

"I'm not."

"Then what's that look?"

"What look?" Jack was confused and seemed to be getting more upset with every passing moment. He was worn out and so was Bobby.

"Come on let's take a break and grab something to eat. We'll finish up after, ok?"

Jack sighed and nodded before they left the store. They sat outside because the food court was hectic and noisy and Bobby knew Jack wouldn't be able to relax in there. The air was cold, but crisp in his lungs. He took a deep breath before he spoke.

"Jack, you are going to have to man up. You said it yourself, you are not a kid. You need to stop acting like one." He felt bad when Jack looked down at his clasped hands dejectedly. "I am right here Jackie, I won't let anything happen to you. If anyone ever hurts you, I hurt them. Got it?" After an awkward moment Jack seemed to calm down and Bobby's words seemed to sink in.

He did feel safe around Bobby, he knew he was strong. He seemed to like Jack and maybe Jack could trust him. Maybe, just possibly Bobby would be true to his word and protect him. Maybe he could let his guard down a bit and be himself. He sighed and nodded. He could be a man, he would prove to Bobby he was a man and not a little kid.

Even if he did feel like a baby most of the time, he even felt like crying at that very moment. He wouldn't though, he wouldn't let Bobby see him act like a child. Like a stupid little baby, not any more. He would be a man now.

It started innocently enough, but it didn't end the way anyone thought it would. Bobby was in charge of the house and Jack, while Evelyn was away. Situations arise and problems are solved, things are mentioned and people talk. Now Bobby has his very own second shadow. Jack became attached to him at the hip, following him around everywhere he went.

Bobby didn't mind it at all, not even a little. Jack was his devoted hockey fan and occasional player. A troublemaker and a heartbreaker, the boy was a mess and a little brother to be protected. Now though when Jack was too quiet for too long, Bobby just looked into his eyes very carefully and it was there. Whatever he needed or was thinking was written so clear and Bobby could practically see it. He knew when his mood switched and sometimes what it meant, but he still remained a mystery to Bobby and everyone else.

Evelyn yearned for another son and this was the one, he was meant to be there. A tormented soul in a sad, ghastly situation, saved. Spared. She loved him instantly. Don't scare him away old girl. He doesn't understand, he doesn't know 'Love' or family. Time, it will take time.

Poor Jack, was beyond lost and confused. So quickly everything had changed for him, too fast, so sudden and so tempting. Too many words, twisting his mind inside out. Lies, maybe. He wanted to believe. Almost, so close. He aches to have Bobby's hand in his hair and Evelyn's warm body close, her arms wrapped tightly comforting him. Jerry's smile so big and contagious, he does feel the need for these things. He doesn't understand it. Too many words that didn't have meanings to be taken back. It will all be taken away from him, he knew. It was too good, too much. He's too undeserving, too dirty, too bad. He wants it though.

_TBC. . . Yeah I know, I'm a shit head. I try, but let me know if it sucks. Really. I need to know these things I have no beta or what not and just write this on a whim and type it up. So please, feedback is lifeblood. Cheers! Enjoy, lots of love! _


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